


Drunk In Love

by tamarieladoness



Series: The Infamous Roxy-Eggsy Sleepovers [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alcohol, Eggsy & Roxy Bromance, Eggsy is a Little Shit, F/M, M/M, Merlin and Harry are increasingly uncomfortable, Roxy is a Little Shit, Sleepovers, a tiny bit of explicit imagery, and james bond, and popcorn again, gotta get tips from somewhere, well they are super spies, yes alcohol is involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3738952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamarieladoness/pseuds/tamarieladoness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy and Roxy are again having one of their weekly sleepovers, but this time a little too much alcohol is involved. Harry and Merlin get some unexpected surprises, and are both a little shocked to say the least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunk In Love

**Author's Note:**

> From the great response to the first fic I wrote, and the asks for the sequel, I knew I had to deliver. I also loved writing it, so that helped. Hope you enjoy, and thank you again! All the love!

“”We're not doing it again, Merlin, we should have more pride than that.”

“You do, maybe, but I am looking forwards to seeing the look on your face when Eggsy says he loves you again.”

“Like you didn't blush when Lancelot said she loved you.”

“Her name is Roxy, Harry, not actually Lancelot. And as a matter of fact I did not-”

“You did. And when has she become Roxy and not Roxanne, may I ask?”

“You call Eggsy 'my boy'. I can see where Roxy is coming from with that daddy kink.”

“What? How could you even begin to think-”

“Harry. I'm joking. You and Eggsy are a match made in heaven.”

“I'm still not doing it again.”

“Oh yes you are.”

With a click, the doors to Merlin's office locked, and the screen lit up brightly, the feed beginning to play.

\---------------------

Casino Royale was playing in the background, the volume turned down low. James Bond films were apparently Roxy's favourite, along with the Hangover films, and the Lord of the Rings, and the- well, let's just say she had a lot of favourite films, the film playing on the TV being one of them. Unfortunately, neither one of the Kingsmen was paying attention to the film, deep in their conversation. Not that it was a deep conversation, however; far from it.

“Are you kidding me? Have you _seen_ Harry in a suit? _Unbelievably_ hot.”

“He wears suits every day, Eggsy. But have you seen _Merlin_ in a suit? My God is that man fuckable.”

Maybe they were slightly drunk. Just maybe.

Roxy fell back on the bed dramatically with a sigh, spreading her arms out wide, almost knocking Eggsy off the bed.

“Oi, Rox, watch out, mate!” He ducked his head out of the way, saving their second bowl of popcorn from mortal danger by grabbing it before Roxy flung it off the bed. 

“Don't you think Merlin has the best legs, Eggsy? They're so _long._ ”

“I wonder what else you think is _so long._ ” Eggsy whispered, causing Roxy to burst into laughter.

“Like you don't think that about Harry!”

“He has a magnificent arse.”

“You said that last time!”

“And 'm saying it again! Apparently he's got a massive cock. Merlin told me.”

“He did not! How would he know!”

“'kay, he didn't, but he _could've._ I jus' know these things, Rox.”

“You mean you look at his crotch all the time.”

“Not _just_ his crotch. He's got a magnificent arse, too.”

“You're saying it again!” Roxy pushed Eggsy even further towards the edge of the bed with a well-placed punch in the shoulder.

“Only 'cause it's true!” Eggsy retorted, pushing her back. Not as hard though - he wasn't stupid enough to grant himself a death wish. He decided to sit on the floor instead. Less risk of being hit by a flying hand, whether deliberate or accidental, that way.

"More wine!" Roxy shouted rather loudly, pointing over at the bottle of wine that had been sat on the counter by the TV for about an hour, though had apparently gone unnoticed.

"More wine," Eggsy sighed unhappily, watching Roxy almost spill the wine as she poured it, somehow still retaining her natural grace and elegance in the way she poured, despite looking like a fool at the same time. Some people are just like that. "Harry loves wine."

"I though he loved scotch? And brandy?" Roxy asked, sitting back on the bed and reaching down to hand Eggsy the second  glass of wine, taking a sip of her own. The bottle she had carried between her thighs, of course. She placed it on the bedside table.

"He loves wine too. I love wine. I love Harry."

"I know, Eggsy. You told me before. Lots of times."

"But I do! He's got an incredible face and have you seen him in a fight? Like a goddamn porn star. Gave me wank material for  _weeks!_ "

"Ugh, too much information Eggsy." Roxy said, placing her wine glass on the side next to the bottle.

"Well at least Harry isn't as bald as a- as a bald eagle!"

"I love him bald! His head is beautiful."

"It shines. Kind of like a floor." Eggsy muttered, deep in thought. Roxy ignored him.

“Oh, Merlin... I love your baldy head.” Roxy said with a happy sigh, reaching over for her glass of wine and almost spilling it in the process. She just left it in the end. It looked perfectly fine sitting there on her bedside table, after all.

“It's like a pinkish egg.” Eggsy murmured from his position on the floor, leaning back against the bed.

“A _beautiful_ egg.”

“Am I a beautiful egg?”

“Of course. Harry's beautiful egg.” Roxy giggled, and picked up the bottle of wine this time, tipping it up and taking a mouthful.

“Harry's beautiful egg..." Eggsy whispered happily, smiling to himself. 

"Harry and Eggsy are forever!" Roxy suddenly shouted, almost dropping the wine bottle onto the bed.

"Roxy and Merlin are forever!" Eggsy shouted back, turning to face her and climbing back onto the bed.

"We should have names!"

"I'm Eggsy. I already have a name." Eggsy sighed glumly, pouting his lips.

"No! I mean for us! Harry and Eggsy! Roxy and Merlin!"

"Like... Eggsary! Or Harggy!"

"Ugh. No. Those are awful. I was thinking of something like Merly!"

"No! Merly's  _awful._ What about," Eggsy quickly scanned the room. He didn't know what for, though."Merlot!"

"Merlot? That's a wine!"

"No, Merlot! As in MERlin and LanceLOT!"

"Yes! Merlot! It's wine, and Roxy and Merlin!"

"What about me 'n Harry?"

"What about... Eggsart? Hartsy?"

"Those sound stupid! Why not something like... Hartwin!"

"Yes! Hartwin!"

"Cause Harry  _Hart_ has  _won_ my heart!"

"Yes!" Roxy shouted, falling back against the headboard. Unfortunately, she ended up bashing her head against the wood.

"Ow." 

\------------------

This time, back Merlin's office, it was extraordinarily tense.

"This was a terrible idea."

"She called my head _baldy._ " _  
_

"I do  _not_ fight like a porn star. And Eggsy is most certainly not my 'beautiful egg'."

"Eggsy said it _shone_. Like a _floor_."

"This was your fault."

"At least you're the one with the massive cock. I just have long legs and a bald head."

"I never want to hear the word 'Hartwin' ever again."

"I'd like to avoid hearing 'Merlot', if possible."

"I told you this was a bad idea. I'll never be able to look Eggsy in the eye again."

"I know. It won't happen again, I promise."

\------------------

The next morning, Eggsy called Roxy as soon as possible.

"Do you think it worked?"

"I hope so. If we admitted it enough times and said enough stupid things, they will have stopped listening in."

"Do you have any idea of the sort of things we said?"

"No idea. I hope it wasn't too inappropriate."

**Author's Note:**

> 9th June 2016: I'm sorry everyone. I have basically left the Kingsman fandom (not because of any particular reason, this happens a lot with me- so many fandoms!) so I won't be finishing/continuing this series. Maybe when the next film comes out, I will get back into it, but you can't force these things, so please don't get your hopes up.  
> I'm so, so sorry.
> 
> Love, Tam.  
> 


End file.
